I know it’s crazy, but I feel strangely sad. I’ve just given my baby up for adoption.

After a prolonged and difficult pregnancy of three years, and a painful delivery, I’ve handed over my little bundle of joy. They tell me I should be happy that it’s going to a good home but for some reason I feel a little empty.

The family seem like nice people, artistic types, I think they’re actors. And it’s clear that they’ll be wonderful, talented and caring parents. But what about me? They tell me I’ll be able to visit, they want me to have a role, but I’m not naive. People are possessive, it’s human nature. Soon they won’t want me poking around. They’ll say I’m confusing the little one. I think it’s time to let go.

Cue: Incredible Hulk theme. Cue: Lonely Writer hitching out of town. Time to start all over again.